Author Topic: Smiles  (Read 129121 times)

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Offline cercis

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Smiles
« on: November 10, 2009, 05:45:50 PM »
A place to post jokes or videos or other things that make us smile.
--- suzi ---

Offline cercis

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2009, 05:46:24 PM »
IDIOT SIGHTING

   


   We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears

   repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did

   not have a "large" enough motor on the opener.

   I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest

   one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

   He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4

   horsepower."

   I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

   He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than

   two.."

   

   We haven't used Sears repair since.

   

   IDIOT SIGHTING

   

   My daughter and I went through the Timmy's

   drive-thru window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.

   

   

   Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

   

   

   She said, "you gave me too much money." I said,

   "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar

   bill back."

   

   She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to

   repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the

   quarter, and said "We're sorry but they could not

   do that kind of thing."

   

   The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in

   change.

   Do not confuse the clerks at the Timmy's in Almonte,

   Ont

   

   IDIOT SIGHTING:

   

   I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new

   neighbour call the local township administrative office to

   request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

   

   

   The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out

   here!

   I don't think this is a good place for them to be

   crossing anymore."

   

   From Barrhaven, Ont.

   

   IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

   

   My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.

   She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal

   lettuce."

   He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

   

   From the City of Pembroke

   

   IDIOT SIGHTING:

   

   I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an

   airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in

   your baggage without your knowledge?"

   

   To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge,

   how would I know?"

   

   He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we

   ask."

   

   Happened at Uplands in Ottawa

   

   IDIOT SIGHTING:

   

   The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to

   cross the street.

   I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker

   of mine.

   

   She asked if I knew

   what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind

   people when the light is red.

   

   Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind

   people doing driving?!"

   

   She was a probation officer in Gatineau , QC

   

   

   IDIOT SIGHTING:

   

   This happened at a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear

   coworker who was leaving the company due to

   "downsizing."

   Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We

   should do this more often."

   Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at

   each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

   

   This was a lunch at Suncor, Fort McMurray , Alberta

   

   

   IDIOT SIGHTING:

   

   I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back

   into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't

   understand why her system would not turn on.

   

   A clerk at the Campbell 's Bay Court House, no less.

   

   

   IDIOT SIGHTING:

   

   When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership

   to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in

   it.

   

   We went to the service department and found a mechanic

   working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door.

   As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried

   the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

   

   "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its

   open!"

   

   His reply, "I know. I already got that side."

   

   This was at the Ford dealership in Kanata,

   Ont

   

--- suzi ---

Offline boonibarb

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Dooki
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2009, 07:05:05 PM »
Dooki got a souvenir!
Dooki*s souvenir - november 8 2009


wooohoooo!

Offline luvthebirds

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2009, 07:34:04 PM »
Cercis, your "Idiot Sightings" are so funny, sad I fear, but funny.  Wonder how some folks make it through the day. :eceek
Nurture yourself with Nature - luvthebirds
(and don't forget to screep for what you need)

Offline cercis

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #4 on: November 10, 2009, 07:45:46 PM »
Aww, what a cool wrap for Dooki!  Is it a t-shirt or is that a collar on it? 

Does Dooki want to learn to ride?
--- suzi ---

Offline Raptorman

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    • The Eagles of White Rock
Re: Dooki
« Reply #5 on: November 10, 2009, 07:46:34 PM »
Dooki got a souvenir!
Dooki*s souvenir - november 8 2009


 :biggergrin2

Offline boonibarb

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #6 on: November 10, 2009, 07:46:53 PM »
Raptorman gave Dooki the shirt off his back!
wooohoooo!

Offline madrona

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #7 on: November 10, 2009, 07:49:18 PM »
Oh that's quite a souvenir.  Dooki has something lasting to remember Danny by.  He'll be able to smell his buddy.  (No offence rap'man).  I'm glad they're both the same size!  :mhihi
   Wildness reminds us what it means to be human, what we are connected to
      rather than what we are separate from. - Terry Tempest Williams

Offline Rajame

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #8 on: November 10, 2009, 08:40:57 PM »
Dooki Rocks!  One cool dude, I'd say!
 :biggergrin2
Your soul lights up the room as if the sun is beaming directly.

Offline Donnae

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #9 on: November 10, 2009, 10:07:14 PM »
Dooki what a nice t-shirt!!!!  Nice of Raptor to think of you!!!! :biggrin6

Offline cobbler39

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #10 on: November 11, 2009, 05:34:44 AM »
Aw, that's priceless. Looks good on ya Dooki.

Offline birdvoyer

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #11 on: November 11, 2009, 05:43:59 AM »
Cersis, I Laughed 'til I cried at some of your "sighting." But the more I thought about them, the more I think that I will just stay in my house. It's scary out there!  :scared

Very funny...thanks!

Awww, so cute boonib. Lucky Dooki.  :nod2
"No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care."

Offline only_an_egg

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #12 on: November 11, 2009, 06:30:34 AM »
Dookie Dookie, lend me your comb!  :mhihi 
What Hope taught me: "To get anywhere in life you have to go out on a limb first"

Offline birdvoyer

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #13 on: November 11, 2009, 03:12:18 PM »
Only-an-egg (Eggy) you are all mixed up again!  

It's Dooki Howser!
Or was it Dooki of Earl?

 :biggergrin2
"No one cares how much you know, until they know how much you care."

Offline luvthebirds

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Re: Smiles
« Reply #14 on: November 11, 2009, 03:14:12 PM »
Dooki Bow(wow)ser
Nurture yourself with Nature - luvthebirds
(and don't forget to screep for what you need)